Written by Noelle King 
Abusive employers why-we stay
Abusive employers why-we stay in an office that does not value who you are as a person and what we bring to the table.
Abusive employers why-we stay in an abusive office. Actual statements from employees.
- Convenience: it’s close to home.
- Money: it’s too good to give up.
- Starting over: it’s too much of a hassle to start over again.
- Loyalty: drilled into my head from early age.
- Low self-esteem and age: being afraid no one will hire someone like me.
- Great hours: no extreme challenges
When you know… you have given your power away:
- You allow someone to disrespect you.
- You’re afraid of going to the employer that does not support you when the office manager or other staff treat you badly.
- You start questioning your abilities.
- You start sacrificing your own needs to stay there.
- You’re starting to take medications to cope with going to an office that does want you there.
- You feel anxious, irritable, and depressed.
- You’re drained of physical, mental and/or emotional energy.
- Your health is starting to decline.
- You’re losing sleep replaying the office scenarios in your head.
- You blame others for your situation, instead of taking action to change.
- You feel you’re walking on eggshells.
- You feel alone and isolated; you have no one to talk to in the office.
- You can no longer trust anyone in the office?
- If you have answered YES to 5-6 of these questions, it’s time to take back your power and leave. Your health is at stake.
Abusive conduct defined in California:
In California, “abusive conduct” is defined as: under the latest Senate Bill No. 778, conduct of an employer or employee in the workplace, with malice, that a reasonable person would find hostile, offensive, and unrelated to an employer’s legitimate business interests. Abusive conduct may include repeated infliction of verbal abuse, such as the use of derogatory remarks, insults, and epithets, verbal or physical conduct that a reasonable person would find threatening, intimidating, or humiliating, or the gratuitous sabotage or undermining of a person’s work performance.
How do you know when you’re in the right office?
- You have energy and pep in your step.
- A good employer will show you how much they appreciate you.
- You no longer dread going to the office.
- You feel you’re a part of the team.
- You have a genuine feeling the office likes you.
- You’re sleeping better.
- You’re no longer feeling stressed out.
- You are no longer in your head questioning your abilities.
When you stop and decide your health is more important, ask yourself these big questions.
Be honest with yourself and stay with the question for at least 30 seconds. If you notice you’re getting a gut response and feel this dread coming over you with one or two things on this list, that means your body is trying to tell you something.
- Why am I staying in an office that does not acknowledge, value, or appreciate me?
- Why am I drained and exhausted?
- Is my energy depleted?
- Am I allowing other employees to treat me badly?
- Pros and Cons list: do I have more Cons than Pros?
- Am I giving up my self-worth for convenience or money?
- What part of me is allowing me to sacrifice my happiness? Am I selling my soul for the money?
- Do I give 100% of my effort at work, but it still does not matter?
- Am I afraid I will not find another employer that pays or treats me well?
- As dental recruiter with over 36 years’ experience, I get many of these types of situations. I have successfully placed many candidates in other offices that are happy and making more money. In every case these candidates who left an abusive office, said they will never allow another employer or employee to treat them disrespectfully again. They got back their power and self-esteem and realized health and happiness are more important.
Abusive employers why-we stay in an office that you’re starting to notice these health symptoms.
Health signs to look for when you stay to long:
- High-blood pressure (check your blood pressure in the morning and evening so you know where it’s coming from)
- Depression
- Insomnia
- Frequent illness
- Obesity
- Burn out
- Increased stress
- Read our article on Dental job Burnout Silent Killer
Read about ways to cope and help you possess your current situation:
- Coping Skills: the key to happiness is through self-awareness Understand other people, how they perceive you, your attitude, and your responses to them.
- Stress Diary: Get insight into how you react to stress and identify where the stress is coming from.
- Meditation: Start with 5 minutes a day, a well-known resource TM Meditation.
- Check your blood pressure often even if you feel you’re in good health.
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Take a free stress test to see if you’re stressed out or it is all in your head.
Why choose local Dental staffing agency over out-of-state agencies?
- Established dental employment agency will know the local dentists and their personalities.
- A good dental agency will care more about what you want and is not a body sender.
- The dental staffing agency will personally arrange a long-term working trial to see if the office is a good fit for your needs.
- You get feedback on things you would not normally feel comfortable asking the employer.